Same-Sex Family Parenting Guide

Starting a family is a huge step, and for same-sex couples, it can come with challenges. This is because such couples have additional factors to navigate. Most parental advice is tailored to heterosexual parents and same-sex parents can find it difficult to get guidance tailored to their unique situations. For this reason, it’s important to adequately prepare for the journey with the parenting tips necessary for supporting your child in every way.

Key Takeaways

• Same-sex parents have grown in number in recent years
• In the United States, this number has significantly exceeded.
• There are legal and financial implications that surround same-sex families
• Leaning on support groups can make same-sex parenting easier

Same-Sex Families

In 2021, the number of same-sex families increased to over 1 million, a significant increase (of almost 500,000) since 2000. More same-sex couples are becoming courageous in raising their families openly because, over the years, the ridicule and stigmatization that same-sex families have faced have reduced, encouraging more couples to live more boldly and even start their own families. Not only that, there are now more resources available to LGBTQ+ parents. 

Challenges Facing Same-sex Parents

Same-sex families face challenges that hetero families don’t face but three main challenges affect them more.

The costs of starting a same-sex family

Assisted reproductive technologies like in vitro fertilization (IVF) have made it easy for same-sex couples to start their families. Still, the cost of same-sex parenting can be significant when considering IVF, adoption, and of course, childcare. This cost can even skyrocket when you take into account medical insurance, travel, legal expenses, and surrogacy. These costs can cost from $60,000 to upwards of $150,000 depending on how you choose to start your family.

Laws and regulations

In some cases, laws affecting hetero parents when adopting can be different when compared to same-sex parents. Though we’ve come a long way, laws and regulations in various areas are exacting to same-sex parents. In the USA, laws can be determined by individual states. For example, Mississippi prohibits adoption by couples of the same gender, even though under the Supreme Court ruling same-sex parents can adopt. For this reason, planning for a family as a same-sex couple requires you to understand state and federal laws in the specific state and regulations in the country you plan to adopt. 

Additionally, U.S. federal law does not prohibit same-sex families from having children or same-sex couples from being adoptive parents. But, 14 states permit state-licensed child welfare agencies to refuse to place and provide services to certain children and families, including same-sex couples, if doing so conflicts with their religious beliefs. 

Stigmatization

While same-sex families have come a long way, they still face some stigmatization. Research has shown that children in LGBTQ families face discrimination from their peers for being different. They are often subjected to heteronormative standards and are frequently told that their parents’ relationship is wrong or unnatural. In some cases, this is doubled up by the rejection of same-sex marriage or children particularly initiated by other family members. This can have a negative impact on the physical, mental, and social functioning of same-sex family systems. 

Tips for Raising a Child in a Same-Sex Family

Over the years, the perception has been that children from hetero families fare better than those from same-sex families. But, new studies have also proven that children from same-sex parents fare just as well. 

Still, raising children can be quite challenging (for both straight and same-sex families). There’s a lot to consider, including the legal, financial, and emotional implications of raising children. Now more than ever, books, TV shows, and movies are representing same-sex, enabling different families to feel more seen and accepted. Same-sex families in consumed media are often heteronormative, diversity also helps children from these families become more confident when seeing a family like theirs depicted in the media.

The following tips can help to combat the challenges faced by same-sex families.

Communication

Open communication with children is quite important. Even in education settings, it’s important to have continuous conversations about family dynamics. This equips their children with adequate skills to confront discrimination.

Consider Therapy

Therapy is an important tool for families, no matter if they are heterosexual or same-sex. Therapy can help LGBTQ+ parents and their children, especially children being raised in a unique environment that may not be supported by society at large. 

Nowadays, you can either choose in-person or online therapy to work through any challenges or fears you’re experiencing during your parenting journey. There has been an increase in online therapists, making it easy for parents to choose from different options according to preferences like gender, faith, or belief systems that suit their families. 

Join Support Groups

Raising children in a same-sex family structure can be quite isolating because of the stigma often associated with same-sex relationships. Recently, there has been a surge in local physical and digital support groups for these families. Many states offer LGBTQ+ community centers that host support groups and social events and provide resources specifically tailored to LGBTQ+ parents and families.

Additional Resources

There are several resources available for LGBTQ+ parents. Here are some of these resources. 

• Dallas IVF’s LGBTQ+ family-building resources. If you’re a same-sex couple considering parenthood, we here at Dallas IVFcan help with your needs. We believe in providing personalized and effective fertility treatment to all patients. Our fertility centers are committed to providing safe, welcoming, and proficient family-building services for the LGBTQ+ community. For more information, explore our 
• Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE): An organization dedicated to helping the children of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/or transgender parents and families.
• Human Rights Campaign Foundation (HRC): The largest civil rights organization in the U.S. working to achieve LGBTQ+ equality.
• Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexual and Transgender (PFLAG): A program devoted to educating and supporting everyone involved in the life of a sexual minority individual.
• Strong Family Alliance: A nonprofit providing support and resources to parents of LGBT kids coming out.
• The Trevor Project: An American nonprofit organization focused on suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ+ youth.

Bottom line

Children require a physical, emotional, and all-round stable environment, no matter their parents’ sexual orientation. Children who grow up in same-sex-parent families are just as likely to be happy and successful as those who grow up in straight families. It is possible to raise healthy and confident children, no matter the parents’ sexual orientation. For same-sex families, it’s important to look for support, community, and resources that can help raise their children with confidence.