Amy and Mikey wanted children, but they quickly realized their path to parenthood would be far from straightforward
Amy and Michael (Mikey) Valbuena began trying to conceive in 2020, just as the world was grappling with the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. With Amy 35 and Mikey 50 at the time, they knew that age was a significant factor in their fertility. After nearly a year of trying with no success, they decided it was time to seek the help of a specialist.
A diagnosis of male infertility at an Oklahoma clinic
Their first stop was a fertility clinic in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where they lived. What should have been a hopeful step forward quickly turned into a source of frustration and disappointment. The clinic felt cold and uninformative, leaving them with more questions than answers. Mikey was diagnosed with male infertility, a diagnosis that initially felt overwhelming.
The clinic in Tulsa prescribed medication for Mikey, but they provided little explanation or guidance. The couple felt lost in the process, unsure of what to expect or what their chances of success at their age really were.
Despite the lack of support, the couple continued to hold onto hope. They knew that their dream of becoming parents was worth fighting for, but they couldn’t shake the feeling that they needed to find a clinic that truly cared about their journey.
Seeking assistance for advanced age pregnancy in Texas
In April 2021, Amy and Mikey made a significant decision: They moved to Texas. The move was motivated by a combination of factors, but one of the most important was their desire to find a fertility clinic that would offer them the support and expertise they needed. Amy’s younger sister, a labor and delivery nurse in Durant, had done extensive research and had heard glowing reviews about Dallas IVF from her patients. Encouraged by this, the Valbuenas decided to give the clinic a try.
Their first appointment with Dallas IVF’s Dr. Dara Havemann was in May 2021, and from the moment they walked through the doors, they felt a sense of relief. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, a stark contrast to their experience in Tulsa. Dr. Havemann, who had her own experience with infertility, immediately put them at ease.
She took the time to review all of their medical records, explaining everything in a way that was easy to understand. Amy felt a deep connection with Dr. Havemann, who made her feel comfortable and validated every step of the way.
“From the very first appointment with Dr. Havemann, her personality was so kind, genuine and warm,” Amy recalls. “The fact that she had been through infertility herself made me feel like she truly understood what we were going through.”
The rollercoaster of IVF treatment
With a renewed sense of hope, Amy began in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments in August 2021 at Dallas IVF. The process was intense, involving multiple medications, injections and monitoring. Their first egg retrieval in December 2021 yielded seven embryos that preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) showed to be healthy – a promising start.
In March 2022, they had their first embryo transfer and their prayers were answered when Amy became pregnant with their daughter, Wonder. The day of the transfer, Amy felt an overwhelming sense of peace, as if she knew deep down that it would work. She even tested at home six days later, unable to resist the urge, and saw the positive result she had longed for.
“Being overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt,” Amy says. “We had hoped and prayed for so long to have a baby, and I appreciated it so much more because of everything we had been through.”
Wonder was born on December 6, 2022, a perfect and healthy baby girl from an advanced age pregnancy. The experience of carrying Wonder was smooth and filled with elation, a much-needed reprieve after the physical and emotional toll of IVF.
A second shot at advanced age pregnancy leads to the pain of embryo loss
Eager to expand their family, the Valbuenas didn’t wait long before trying for a second child. They had six embryos remaining and were hopeful that another transfer would lead to another miracle. In July 2023, they had their second transfer, but this time, things didn’t go as planned. The transfer failed, a devastating blow that left Amy questioning whether she could emotionally handle another transfer.
“I felt like I couldn’t do it again,” Amy admits. “But something inside me knew that we had to keep going.”
Dr. Havemann was there for them every step of the way, offering comfort and support. She quickly got Amy in for a follow-up appointment, reassured her that her body was healthy and ready for another attempt, and helped her regain the courage to try again.
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Welcoming their second baby after a healthy IVF pregnancy
In September 2023, Amy and Mikey decided to go ahead with their third embryo transfer, which succeeded. This time, the pregnancy was more difficult. Amy struggled with nausea and vomiting the entire pregnancy. It was harder physically, especially with a toddler to chase after.
But emotionally, the challenge was even greater. The fear of another loss weighed heavily on Amy, though she never gave up hope.
On May 13, 2024, their second daughter, Prosper, was born. The delivery was smooth, and Amy’s active lifestyle during pregnancy contributed to an easier labor. As she held her newborn in her arms for the first time, all the hardships and struggles faded into the background. Prosper was perfect, and in that moment, Amy knew that every tear, every injection and every setback had been worth it.
“The second you have your baby and hold them in your arms, you are witnessing a miracle right in front of you,” Amy says. “It’s the most amazing thing in the world, and you think back to the years you wanted and prayed for this, not knowing if it would ever happen.”
A heartfelt message to others facing the trials of advanced age pregnancy
After all the ups and downs, the Valbuena’s now have two beautiful, healthy girls. Reflecting on their experience, Amy offers words of wisdom to others who are still on their fertility journey.
“It’s so important to have a good support system of loving, caring, positive people because it’s really hard emotionally and mentally,” she says. “Stick it out and know that the other side is the most beautiful thing in the world.”
Amy also encourages others to find community, whether through social media or local support groups. She shares that infertility can feel isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. Knowing you aren’t alone on the journey is huge.
As Amy and Mikey look to the future, they feel blessed to have Wonder and Prosper in their lives. And with four healthy embryos remaining, Amy isn’t ruling out the possibility of expanding their family even further, though she may have to convince Mikey. For now, though, they are savoring every moment with their miracle babies, grateful for the love and support that carried them through their path to parenthood.