Single Parent and Single Mother by Choice

Single parent and single mother by choice facts

• A growing number of men, women, nonbinary and agender individuals are choosing to pursue parenthood without a partner or spouse.
• Women seeking to be single mothers by choice can undergo in vitro fertilization (IVF) or intrauterine insemination (IUI) using third-party donor sperm or donor embryos (fertilized eggs). They can also elect to use a gestational carrier.
• Men seeking to be single dads have the option to use a gestational carrier along with donor eggs or donor embryos.
• Those seeking to be single nonbinary or agender parents by choice also require some form of third-party reproductive assistance mentioned above.

What does it mean to be a single dad, single nonbinary or agender parent or single mother by choice?

We believe our patients have the right to be a parent, and a partner is not needed to create a loving, healthy family. Because of this, we offer fertility treatments including the use of third-party reproductive assistance such as a gestational carrier without the need of a partner or spouse.

This allows everyone to build the family of their dreams, including all genders, those who identify as nonbinary (neither exclusively man or woman), agender (no gender identity), or gender fluid (a gender identity that can shift). Forging a family for everyone who desires one is an important goal for us. Following is information for all single parents by choice to guide patients though all needs and considerations.

Fertility treatments like IVF & IUI for single mother by choice

Women who want children have often felt the pressure to find a suitable partner or spouse before their fertility begins to decline. Fortunately, assisted reproductive technology has provided another option for those who do not want to wait. Women, including lesbians and transgender men, who are ready to start their family can do so without a partner through multiple options.

• IVF using donor sperm or donor embryos.
• IUI using a known or anonymous sperm donor.
• Use of a gestational carrier.

Women also have the option to freeze their eggs at a younger age, preserving them at their peak quality until they are ready to conceive.

Fertility treatments for single dads by choice

While single motherhood by choice is becoming more prevalent, the options for single dads by choice can oftentimes be overlooked. Men, including gay men and transgender women, who are ready to start their family without a partner may also conceive using a gestational carrier.

Men can use their own sperm, or donor sperm if they have male infertility, to fertilize donor eggs and create embryos that will be implanted into a gestational carrier surrogate through IVF. They may also choose to freeze their sperm at a younger age to use for family building at a later time, as male fertility does decrease with age.

Fertility treatments for nonbinary, agender and other single parents by choice

We offer a full range of family building services for single parents by choice within the LGBTQIA+ community, including nonbinary, agender, gender fluid and other identities. The infertility treatments needed depend on each person’s unique needs.

Those with uteruses will need donor sperm from a known or unknown donor, which we can help them attain. As with single mothers by choice, the sperm will be used in IUI or IVF with the hopeful parent’s eggs to achieve pregnancy.

Before undertaking a fertility treatment, we will test the person for fertility issues. If issues are present, we are likely to recommend IVF for a better chance of success and may suggest the use of donor eggs. A gestational carrier may also be used if preferred or necessary.

Those with testes will need donated eggs to fertilize with sperm in the IVF process. We will test their fertility, and if they show signs of infertility, they may need to obtain donor sperm. The resulting embryo formed in the IVF lab will be implanted in a gestational carrier who will carry the pregnancy and deliver the baby. We can help the patient obtain the gestational carrier, the donor eggs and the donor sperm if necessary.

Benefits of single parenthood by choice

Choosing to build a family as a single parent negates the need to find a partner or spouse before one’s “biological clock” runs out. While the male clock ticks longer than the female clock, age does affect male fertility. It can relieve the stress felt by those who are concerned they will not find the right person with which to start a family in time to conceive naturally, allowing them to have children first then find a mate later if they desire. Single parenthood is also the goal for many people who never want a permanent partner or spouse.

Single parenthood allows the parent full control over parenting decisions and finances. Without having to balance attention between a romantic relationship and their child, a single parent may also develop a deeper connection with their offspring.

Challenges faced by parents and single mothers by choice

Single parenthood can be financially, socially and psychologically difficult. Although choosing to start a family without a partner is becoming more common, society is still working to provide enough support options for these parents.

Some of the difficulties of single parenthood include:

• Assistance after delivery including time off work, especially if the parent did not carry the child.
• Obtaining paid time off to care for the child if the parent or child become ill.
• Covering the cost of daycare, food and supplies for the child.
• Telling the child about their biological origins and the reasoning behind the person’s choice to be a single parent.
• Finding peace in the thought of having a child that the parent may not be biologically related to or that was carried by someone else.

It is important that patients fully understand the time and financial and emotional commitment being made as a single parent by choice. These important topics are discussed during a patient’s consultation. Emotional and financial counseling is also recommended for those who are pursuing single parenthood and is legally required for patients choosing to become parents through the use of a gestational carrier.

Resources for single parents by choice

• DFW Single Mothers by Choice Meetup Group.
• Dallas Single Mom.
• Choice Moms.
• Single Mothers by Choice.
• Single and Parenting.
• Dallas Dads Meetup Group.
• Fatherhood Resource Hub.
• Men’s Group.
• Family Equality
• Rainbow Families – Single Parent By Choice